“For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.” Psalm 86:13
My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. I have been feeling so guilty for warring against my flesh to obey the tasks set before me. “God must be so disappointed in me” the tape plays. My heart has been stopped up like a well thats covered. I’m so thirsty to drink of Him and experience His presence once again. Searching for answers, many have come my way from different angles but no results!
Finally, determined to chase Him, I praise Him and cry out to Him anyway. Worshipping in body, soul and spirit. Digging and digging determined to tap into His presence once again. Then a rush of freedom comes over me!
God speaks for the first time in awhile to my spirit. He said Jesus was tempted in every way that we are but was without sin. His spirit too was willing but his flesh was weak. What did he do? He cried out to His Father in heaven and prayed fiercely. His flesh warred back at him so much so that he sweat drops of blood! Three times he prayed for this cup to pass from him without having to drink of it but every time he insisted that the Father’s will be done…not his.
“…and in great anguish he prayed more intensely, so that his sweat became like drops of blood falling to the ground.” Luke 22:44
We will struggle against our flesh to accomplish the task at hand. Our flesh will not always be gratified by our obedience to Him…but our spirit will. Which is eternal? Which is more important? Our spirit. Let us always hold on fiercely to the posture of “The Father’s will be done”. Let us fight against our flesh when it cries out against us to satisfy it. Let us go to the One who keeps his promise. “…Jesus stood and cried out, “If anyone is thirsty, let him keep coming to me and drinking! Whoever puts his trust in me, as the Scripture says, rivers of living water will flow from his inmost being!” John 7:37-38.
Pursue Him and chase after Him. Return to Him and He will return to you. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. The Father sees you. He knows you better than you know yourself. He would never ask you to do something without giving you also the strength to do it. The Father gave Jesus the strength to drink the cup. He will also give you the strength to drink. Once surrendered He will set you free from self-condemnation and into the comfort of His rest.